Is it possible to have an affair without realizing it? The answer is an unqualified “YES”. In the dating world, people are not always upfront with the information a person needs in order to make wise choices.
That woman that you’re taking out on a date may not have told you that she is married. When the date began, you may have operated on the assumption that everything was copacetic.
That happened to me once. It was only after we were 2/3 through the date that she informed me that she was married.
You may be operating that her interest in you was genuine. IN such cases, many are caught in traps they never intended to be a part of.
It is not beyond married men and women to portray themselves as ‘available’ and single when the reality is that they are not so. When spouses are away as part of overseas assignments or in prison, their counterparts may not remain totally loyal to them.
When faced with a prolonged absence, some spouses operate as if they were ‘single’. In some cases, it is intentional, in others, such situations are due to you being caught up in their delusional thinking and values about how they are available.
Although the lonely spouse may be enticing, the ‘well’ is a poisoned one. In such situations it is best to exit quickly, no matter how charming and enticing they are.
It is a mistake to think that the person who was tricked was actively seeking an affair. People can be tricked or deceived into an affair. When the person who was tricked happens to go along with the situation, then they are literally asking for trouble.
Unintentional affairs happen. The one night stands account for 10% of affairs. Beyond that, choices are made, and the relationship has intention.
If you find yourself in one of these situations and wonder what to do, there’s hope. The video “Help for the Cheater: Starting the Road to Recovery” tells you how to move past your situation. You can know what specific steps to take in repairing your marriage.
Best Regards,
Jeff
