One of the blogs I follow periodically is “The Betrayed Wives Club“. I find it helps to hear the many perspectives concerning infidelity.
A recent headline there caught my attention. In bold letters, it asked, “How Can I Be Sure I Won’t Be Hurt Again?”
The original post addressed the question in terms of lessons she’s learned from her yoga instructor that has many applications in her everyday life. The post was well worth the time spent reading it.
From my perspective, the only 100% sure way of not getting hurt again is by putting up walls and avoiding relationships. When people can’t get in, they can’t hurt you. But that’s not living. It’s not the life I want to live.
My advice would be to focus on improving your relationships and your own well-being. It’s not about avoiding the possibility of hurt, but learning from it and growing from it. Look for red flags in any future relationships that could indicate an issue may arise again. But most importantly, have faith in your own judgment. Believe that you can handle whatever comes up. When you focus on avoiding hurt, it sets you up for further manipulation.
What about you? How can you be sure you won’t get hurt again? Is there anything you can do to lessen the chances of that happening?
Putting up a wall is the best insurance policy in avoiding hurt. Nations spend millions of dollars building walls in avoiding hurt.
Although it sometimes works, that option isn’t healthy for relationships. Rather than running from the pain you fear, consider running toward it. Try facing your relationship and fears. Although it’s counter-intuitive, it works.
I was told as a child that you have to slay the dragon in order to obtain the treasure. Although it’s not yoga, that lesson from childhood stories has yielded good results. I’ve faced my share of dragons along the way.
If you want to heal in your marriage or to recover from the affair, the pathway for doing it is by facing your fears and dragons. This poses a problem. You now face the choice of avoiding pain or repairing your relationship and yourself.
Which road will you choose?
If healing your marriage relationship is your priority, you’ll benefit from having helpful tools. In the video “Let’s Talk: Hurting People, Healing Questions”, I share with you ways of opening up your relationship with your spouse.
Instead of living in fearful desperation, you can instead be taking steps toward healing your relationship.
Moving past your fears is more rewarding than running from them. You can find healing ways of dealing with matters rather than running from them.
Imagine how much more you’ll enjoy your relationships when you no longer have to make decisions based on avoiding hurts. Running and avoiding hurts leads to poor decision-making.
Click and download your copy today. What have you got to lose besides fear?
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
