In my previous posts, I delved into the inner workings of the cheater’s brain during an affair. However, a perceptive reader reminded me of the importance of understanding what happens during the affair itself. Let’s take a closer look at the transformative effects it has on all parties involved: the betrayed, the cheater, and the lover.
Affairs thrive on secrecy and deception. One of the first changes that occur is the denial or distortion of truth to enable the affair to continue. It requires lies and a fantasy. Unfortunately, this results in a significant decrease in trust. Not only does this impact the ability of those involved to trust others, but it erodes their trust in themselves as well. Lies and deceptions become the glue that holds the affair together.
As the cheater remains in a relationship built on twisted truth and common lies, they become desensitized to dishonesty. They are literally living in two different worlds. Eventually, they can lie without a shred of guilt. They will also gravitate toward those that support their thinking of they did nothing wrong.
Another notable change in those engaged in an affair is their intense self-focus. Instead of considering the consequences of their actions, they prioritize their own sensual gratification. This shift in mindset also impacts their sex drive, leading to fluctuations in desire and even bringing their affair habits into their marriage.
The cheater may appear physically present, but their mind constantly wanders elsewhere. They struggle to maintain consistency between their inner thoughts and the external world.
Interestingly, some cheaters may improve their appearance and hygiene as a means of self-deception. They frame it as self-care, but it ultimately contributes to the ongoing deception.
Additionally, you may notice them becoming increasingly defensive about their cell phone privacy, asserting your desire to see it as an invasion of privacy. This protectiveness serves as another red flag.
When these signs become evident, it’s crucial to take action. Ignoring them only allows the problem to escalate. That’s why I highly recommend watching the video “Getting Past the Affair Crisis.” This invaluable resource provides concrete steps to navigate the situation, helping you regain control and clarity amidst the chaos.
Don’t hesitate; click here to download your copy of the video today. Within minutes, you can begin addressing the challenges you’re facing right now.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
