The researchers chasing down the source, action and progression of COVID-19 inspire me. They’ve relentlessly explored and sought answers to questions about what it is, where it came from, how it operates and the all important how to stop it.
That inspiration led me to consider questions regarding ‘the urge to cheat’. When you don’t understand where that urge is coming from and what triggers it, you’re operating in the dark.
When you’re in the dark, you may be dealing with the WRONG problems.
At that point, you’re trying to fix something that you can’t even see, let alone understand what’s driving it.
Getting past the affair requires looking into the origin of the urge along with the patterns of how the urge is dealt with. The betrayer may think they’re unique and special, who define the world around them rather than following patterns.
Despite the pride and self-focus telling them that they’re ‘special’. The reality is that betrayers do follow patterns.
One of those patterns concerns urges. Once the urge hits, they follow a progressive series of steps. Each step strengthens the urge along with making the affair more ‘acceptable’.
One bad choice leads to another bad choice. Until they give into their urge.
This is a pattern that can be identified and mapped out. It’s also a pattern that can be interrupted. Interrupting the sequence of events behind urges is possible.
The more you understand about identifying the pattern and the stages in it, the more you’ll be able to prevent an affair relapse.
When you know the pattern, you’ll see the affair coming. Knowing the pattern keeps you from being blindsided by another affair.
This also means that you and your spouse need to discuss what triggers their urges. The two of you will need honest discussions about urges and their reaction to them.
If the two of you have never discussed urges, you’re way behind in terms of preventing a relapse. If you don’t understand urges, especially the what triggers those urges in your spouse, you’re going to be blind-sided.
The more you know, the better you can intervene in the patterns, although it requires some research.
One way you can learn more about affair relapse and its prevention is by downloading the video “Overcoming Affair Relapse“. In it you’ll find out more about triggers, high risk situations and understanding the patterns behind relapse.
Now that the affair has happened your eyes are open. Use your awareness to keep an affair from happening again.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
