One of the lessons known by propagandists is that ‘seeing is believing‘ for most people. They know that you’re influenced by what you see.
When they want to change your behavior, they show you the desired behavior repeatedly. This repeated showing is also known as ‘role modeling’. This is one reason for so many affairs and unhealthy relationships being shown to you in television programming.
Even when you don’t think you’re being influenced by the programming, inside your mind, your brain is connecting the dots on an unconscious level. Even though you may never consciously act on what you saw, it increases your toleration of the target behavior.
This is also one of the reasons why visual evidence of your spouse having an affair is hard to ignore. Seeing evidence makes it more real to your brain. Your brain can dismiss rumors and stories of cheating, but not your eyes.
Hearing evidence of the cheating means your mind has to construct the evidence, while visual items are already constructed. Seeing images or the text messages makes the cheater more real than hearing about it.
If you wonder why you can’t get over the affair, one key reason goes back to visual images. Once those images are in your head, they don’t want to leave. It takes tremendous conscious effort in countering visual evidence. Such is the power of seeing.
Seeing is believing also makes situations that look bad harder to move past. It’s not impossible, yet requires effort and working together as a team in affair recovery.
In the video “Let’s Talk: Hurting People and Healing Questions”, I share ways of opening up the kind of communication you need in developing the teamwork needed in moving past the bad situations.
Knowing the ways of connecting in a healthy way actually opens up your mind to healing and deeper intimacy with your spouse. If you’re struggling with moving past what happened, this may be just what you’ve been looking for.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
