Which comes first, fear or self-defeating behaviors? It may seem like a difficult question, but there’s a clear answer.
Fear and self-defeating behavior often go hand in hand, making it hard to distinguish between the two. But in the case of fear and self-defeating behavior, the behavior comes first, followed by the fear. So the self-defeating behavior comes up followed by the fear.
You fear that others will discover your self-defeating behavior, which is negatively impacting your marriage, success, and self-confidence. It turns into a vicious circle. These fears affect your daily decision making. The question is, how exactly do your fears influence your decisions?
Dealing with an affair exposes self-defeating behaviors, which is why there may be resistance to working on your marriage. You may be doing something that sabotages your marriage or creates distance between you and your spouse. You have fears of inadequacy and not being a good enough spouse. You fear what might happen when the relationship issues become real and you can no longer hide from them.
An affair brings a label that affects how you view and handle everything, including self-defeating behavior. By hiding it, you only create more fear. Facing it means making changes that will expose the behavior.
Healing can only happen when both partners work together and communicate openly. This includes talking about your fears. The “Affair Recovery Workshop” emphasizes the importance of improving communication.
The path to healing involves addressing tough issues and self-defeating behaviors. Both partners need each other to overcome their struggles.
Every day you delay, you prioritize relationships that are less important over the one that matters most. It’s time to focus on improving your marriage and addressing areas that need attention.
I offer guidance on what areas need attention to transform your marriage. Rather than just giving it a superficial fix, you can achieve a new level of intimacy and closeness when you finally tackle those long-standing issues.
Let’s keep it real and work towards a better marriage.
Jeff
