When I was in the midst of a lawsuit from a family member, I was stunned at how someone who I once got along with had turned into a monster. The difference was like day and night.
Once the lawsuit was underway, she transformed into a demanding, uncompromising beast. I saw a side of the relationship I had no idea that existed.
Nothing seemed to appease her. She continued wanting “More, More, More!” It was only years after that ordeal that I began understanding how that change happened.
It was as if the lawsuit was making her a crazy person. I often said, “This makes me sick!” Although my comments were expressions of frustration, they were also the plain truth.
Litigation, especially when lawyers are stoking the flames eventually burn all those involved that aren’t lawyers or judges. When family members or spouses go to law, everyone gets fleeced but the lawyers.
Anytime you are involved in adversary litigation, such as divorces, it brings out the worst. Not only that, it takes the hostility to new highs. With high hostility, especially with family, it creates secondary effects as well.
One of those secondary effects is that it makes them sick and perhaps you as well. Symptoms start developing, sleep worsens and health starts deteriorating. Everyone involved start using dysfunctional ways of getting their needs met.
This includes using more threats, increased hostility and more demands. When this kind of pathology happens in a family setting, it’s bad news for everyone.
In short, litigation makes you and your family sick. Since affairs are often associated with litigation, this is a topic of concern for you.
If you think things are bad now, litigation will make it worse. Not only will it bring out the unhealthy habits, it puts the control of your family in the hands of judges and attorneys who are looking for ‘fast closure’ and maximum financial rewards rather than what’s healthy of best for your family.
If the trauma of the affair hasn’t made you sick enough, going through litigation makes things worse.
This means finding other ways to work through the problems in your marriage and communication is in your best interest. Your differences are often more workable than you suppose.
You may only need a few adjustments in the way the two of you talk to each other and solve problems together. This is where the Affair Recovery Workshop helps.
The workshop guides the two of you in working through the issues related to the affair. Whether or not the two of you stay together, your still going to have to deal with each other.
You need ways of communicating, handling conflict and ending the emotional turmoil. Both of you need a way of moving past the pain.
Finding healthier ways of handling differences is in the best interest of both of you. Making the effort will be less taxing than the strain you’ll endure with adversarial litigation a divorce and child custody will bring.
Order your copy today. Investing in your relationship will help you keep your sanity.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
