Have you ever had a slip of the fingers or tongue that revealed more than you intended? That’s exactly what happened to one reader who asked, “Why do foment have long-term affairs?” While they meant to type “women,” their Freudian slip sheds light on a deeper emotional struggle.
Such slips often reveal deeper concerns of the person. Even Scripture says “Out of the Mouth, the heart doth speak”. In the case of typing, it is the fingers that speak.
In this case, the writer’s concern was long-term affairs. Apparently, the writer continues being agitated by some experience with a long-term affair in their life.
The pain caused by a long-term affair is devastating. Unlike a temporary lapse in judgment, a long-term affair is intentional, involving organized deception and lies. It takes a lot of planning and lying to pull off a long-term affair. Not only that, long-affairs leave the resolute spouse wondering “How much of this has been a lie?” In their situation, the shock is not only about the affair, but also for the years involved in the affair.
In rare cases, the cheater may even want to get caught, but for some reason, they continue down this treacherous path. They may want the double-life they have been leading to come to an end without hurting anyone. At that point, someone, if not everyone will be hurt by the affair.
Once an affair is underway, it is certain that someone is going to get hurt. Putting off dealing with it only means that there will be more pain when it is finally exposed. The longer it went on, the bigger a fool the resolute spouse feels that they are. The cheater may feel relieved, yet it leaves the resolute spouse feeling buried under years of lies and deception.
No matter the dynamics at play, the longer the affair continues, the more damage it wreaks on trust, loyalty, and commitment. Rebuilding these foundations takes time and effort, and without addressing the issue of trust, the hurt will fester and agitate your mind and emotions.
But don’t despair – there is hope. With a major overhaul of trust and a step-by-step guide, like the video “How Can I Trust You Again?,” you and your spouse can rebuild what has been damaged. You don’t have to give up on your marriage.
It’s time to address the emotional turmoil caused by long-term affairs and work towards a brighter future together.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
