There are some cheaters who are so devoted to their vocations, that they neglect you and their marriage to you. In the name of ‘devotion’ and professionalism, they often put you in the second fiddle role. In these cases, they are cheating with their professions. Since they consider themselves just being devoted or professional, they do not see what they are doing as cheating. If you accuse them of doing so, they are often aghast at such a claim. When this happens you may find yourself feeling neglected and then have guilt thrown your way because you dared to question their professionalism.
When the cheater is a ‘professional cheater’, they may not have slept with anyone. Instead they devote their passion, their time, monies, attention and focus of their lives to their professions rather than their spouse. Whether it be police work, the ministry, health care, business, teaching or the military. In each of these, the cheater has ‘good intentions’ so they do not see anything wrong with what they are doing. You are ‘out of line’ for daring to question them and their activities. You may even believe that you are ‘wrong’ for having dared to question them about what they are doing. You are not going crazy for such questions. You are not out of line for daring to question.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
4 Responses
Amen to this …and it is JUST this that often leads to unmet needs in either or both ..and all in the family do suffer ..including the career person …THEY MISS what marriage is meant to do IN them .
All around …family was not meant to support work …work was meant to support the family
Thanks for bringing that to the table
Good “work” Jeff!
Thanks Zaza.
Wrong priorities are always the breeding ground for cheating. No placing your spouse and family in a priority position always creates problems.
Humanism leads the way in communicating people “OWE ” society …or need to ‘give back ‘ when it is a subtle call to worship priorities that are NOT OF the Creator .
HIS priorities are HIM FIRST …and then the spouse ..and then the children of the marriage and then ALL others
Whenever people are moved by their emotions and have a ‘need’ for admiration aka people pleasing instead of pleasing GOD …their time ,energy and focus gets spread too thin
If everyone would take up the command to keep the priorities GOD has set forth ,…most of the ‘needs ‘ of the family one HAS would be taken care of …and thus society would have fewer victims of the fragmented families …
That is not the reality in this world now ..so there ARE cases where others must take up the slack …but NEVER at the expense of the first priorities set before us by GOD in his word…
Even the present day churches often do their part in separating families on one of the only days that many have to be together.
“Busy work ” be it secular or ‘sacred ‘ has the same effect …drain on the time a husband and wife have to bond and be a couple…and also the energy and time with the children …NOT the best way to live in marriage ..
Time in the word is often even taken up by many ‘works’ that are really more for the feeling and approval of men rather than allowing GOD to work IN a person .
Many a ‘burn out ‘ results and the applause is only limited to THIS world
The ‘good works’ that GOD has foreordained that we should walk in …are HIS WORK by way of HIS WORD …that HE DOES IN those who are obeying His command to put those words / thoughts of HIS in us .
All other activity is passing away …we can ‘give our bodies to be burned’ and without HIS WORD which is AGAPE ..HIS SPIRIT …we are NOTHING
As Jesus said ..the “flesh profitith NOTHING …the WORDS that I speak are spirit and they are life’
Good to know ….so …what we feed will grow.
Thanks Jeff…good to hear your thoughts on your blog.
Zaza,
Thanks for your thoughtful comments. You understand the underpinnings behind those who put their careers ahead of marriage and family. This is a common problem in the United States, where many are afflicted with the need for busy-ness.