When someone tells me that they did not know that the person they were dating was married, I have learned to believe them. I am reminded of an incident occurring when I was dating. After going out to eat, as we were talking, my date shared that her husband was ‘in prison’. I was double-shocked. I had no idea that she was married. I was really stunned at the prison announcement. That was our last date. From that episode, I learned how easy it is to get hooked into something that you never knew was going on.
Cheaters often do not disclose their marital status. Then there is also the possibility that they are lying about their marital status. Since cheaters already lie to you, their spouse, what is to stop them from lying to a paramour?
If you really want to complicate things, try throwing in alcohol and drugs. Under such conditions, you may not remember what they told you in the first place. They may have told you that they were married or that their spouse is in prison, but you don’t remember.
So, surprise affairs do occur. There is little that can be done to prevent them. Not every person who gets entangled in a love triangle intended to do what they did. There really are surprises, people really do lie, and the unexpected often does happen.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
