Years ago, my brother Tim made me a cassette tape and gave it to me on my birthday. He entitled in ‘Music Even a 30-Year Old Can Listen To’. It was filled with music from that time (Siouxsie and the Banshees, The Cure, and others). In those days, it was common practice to record a mix of songs for people you cared about, since those songs expressed what you were experiencing. A good mix did a lot for you.
The closest thing to those old mix tapes is the personal music playlists on YouTube or Spotify. There are playlists covering a wide range of emotional experiences. I even came across one entitled ‘Break-up Songs’. Such a playlist I would have classified as ‘crying in your beer music’ in my youth. These are songs that on listening to over and over plunge you deep into self-pity, or if you dedicate such a playlist to someone, it’s a strong rejection of them.
There is a need to be wanted. When your spouse tells you “I don’t want you anymore“, “I don’t care anymore” or “I no longer want you”, it’s devastating to you. These things are hard to hear and harder to accept. Your first reaction may be some variation of “You don’t mean that!”
When the reality of them not wanting you anymore sinks in, it’s deflating. When the denial switch in your head is finally in the ‘off’ position, such news melts the life out of you. You lose your mojo, and your energy, your sex drive drops, and your face sinks. There is little if any motivation to get out of bed in the morning. Anyone who sees you knows that ‘something’s not right.’
When this happens, running to the ‘break-up playlist’ may express what you’re feeling, but it’ll also drag you down. The power of music is strong. The power is so strong that persisting in such break-up songs impacts your health down to your bones. Every system in your body from your heart to your digestive system is impacted. It’s no wonder you feel like everything inside of you aches.
What about you? Want to learn how to move past this? You don’t have to stay miserable if you don’t want to. You have the power to change your outlook and find ways to cope with what you’re experiencing.
I suggest that you purchase the video, “Getting Past the Affair Crisis”. It takes you through what you need to get past the meltdown and helps you get your life back.
Getting your life back is no easy thing. It requires working through the pain rather than giving into it or going around it or masking it. To get real healing, you’ve got to be honest about what’s going on, what was said and what happened. It requires a willingness to confront the obstacles and challenges head-on, no matter how difficult it may be.
Music has always been a powerful tool for expressing emotions and connecting with others. From old mix tapes to modern-day playlists, music can speak directly to our hearts and reflect our deepest feelings. At the times you’re listening to your emotional meltdown playlist, the music amplifies your emotions to the point you’re not seeing things in a clear light. Rather than giving in some emotional phantom event, start working on your healing.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
