Getting your spouse to trust you again after cheating is a daunting task. They have good reasons for not trusting you.
In the past you could realistically expect them to believe you just because you said something. Once the the relationship has been shaken to its foundation by your cheating, they will not be so willing to trust you again.
They may forgive you, but that doesn’t mean they trust you. If you’re expecting them to trust you simply because you admitted it, apologized and said you are sorry about what happened, you’re living in a fantasy world.
Trust is built on far more than some apologies and empty promises.
You showed them that you’re not trustworthy. You took their trust and damaged it.
You now foolishly expect things to go back to the way they were. They will not go back until you SHOW them that you’re worthy of their trust.
One or two shows of trustworthiness isn’t going to be enough. They will test you, test you, test you and test you again.
How you handle their tests in terms of attitude is the biggest factor in rebuilding the trust. There are other factors as well.
It’s also important for you to value your spouse’s trust. When you say it’s important to you, they want to know that you value their trust. You treated it like dirt before and now they want something different.
If you aren’t sure where to begin, the video “Help for the Cheater: Starting the Road to Recovery” will give you some of the basics regarding the kinds of changes that are needed.
Best Regards,
Jeff
