In the recovery community, the term ‘rigorous honesty’ is often used in dealing with out of control behaviors. They know that the heart is deceitful and will often find excuses and rationalizations to continue the out of control behavior and make sound acceptable. Rigorous honesty is the weapon used to shine the light of truth on their actions. When faced with rigorous honesty, many people initially react with anger. They did not want to be exposed or revealed for what they are doing. In a similar manner, the heart, when it comes to affairs is deceitful. It generates excuses and rationalizations to make the unacceptable —acceptable. With excuses like “I deserve some happiness”, “Who is really going to be hurt?”, “It is a victimless behavior”, “It’s human nature”, “It’s not an affair since we did not have sex” or any one of several hundreds of excuses are used.
The questions that need to be asked are more like:
-Am I being faithful to my spouse?
-Am I honoring the promises made to my spouse at our wedding?
-Will this improve my relationship with my spouse?
-Is this something that I can be proud of and talk about in public?
Such questions cut more to the heart of the matter. Rigorous honest cuts through the deceit, vanity and self-deception that often surrounds affairs. With more rigorous honesty, there will be fewer affairs. If your marriage is in trouble or is not where you want it to be, you need to take action on this matter NOW! Rather than waiting until the dust settles or denial hides many aspects of the relationship, take action in purchasing Infidelity: A Survivor’s Guide at the surviveyourpartnersaffair website. The guide will tell you more about rigorous honesty and what is needed in recovering from an affair. You can choose to wait and suffer in desperation, yet that will not improve your marriage or your life any sooner.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey D. Murrah
