Sleeping around always has consequences. Using labels such as ‘polygamy’ and polyamory give the behavior the appearance of being acceptable. Under those labels, the boundaries of sexual behavior are expanded to the point that point that one gender is often exploited. Polygamy and polyamory amount to infidelity on steroids. When there is more than one-man, one-woman in the relationship, the relationship dynamics change. With polygamy, the relationship is given semi-legitimacy of calling it a marriage. There may even be some legal rights associated with it. In such relationships, someone is being exploited and the dynamics of an affair begin developing.
One of those developments is that polygamy tends to lead to despotism. Although the despotism may be limited to the home, when it occurs on a widespread basis, it effect society as a whole. A brief survey of history will show that behind many despotic nations and empires, was a tendency toward polygamy. Nations do not go despotic overnight. It develops over time, marriage by marriage.
If your spouse has been trying to convince you of adopting this “the more the merrier” lifestyle of polyamory or promising how they will treat you if you join their harem or allow another woman into your life, turning your family and home into a harem, it will only be a matter of time before the despotism begins showing up. They will always love one lover more than another. It is the dynamic of relationships, going back to Biblical times. More wives always meant more trouble, more resentment, more family turmoil, despite all the promises of treating others fairly and justly. They may have good intentions, yet human nature is that we love one and hate the other, even when it comes to multiple spouses.
Even in terms of threesomes. Some of the deepest hurts I have had to face in working with couples often involved threesomes and the feelings they gave root to. The hurts and resentments stay long after the excitement is gone. If you have been down that road, you know what I am talking about.
Polyamory and polygamy will bring more. More hurt, more rejection, more high drama, and more dysfunction.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
One Response
AMEN…..My husband found a woman who was agreeable to this kind of thing….I did not of course know about it for 14 years but the fact that she urged him to give her children has now had this effect …His affection is no longer for her since D DAY but the children of that arrangement are stealing his time, energy , and affection in just the same way as infidelity ..
It has halted our progress to recover ever since he became in contact with them. It is almost worse since my need for a husband companion and sexual partner pretty much has no chance of being first in his mind now that they are having needs that seem endless and they have started to realize they can maneuver him by way of his guilt.
He did not learn the depth of need that children have since he entered his adultery about the same time as our children would have called for this kind of attention .
HE was not there for ours so I am thinking he now feels he must make up for this somehow with the OW children .
He says he has NO interest in her since NOW he SEES what kind of person she is and her neglect …deliberate …to get more money from us …has escalated…she uses the 3000.00 for something but they often call to say there is no food in the house …or their mother is gone all day …
This kind of use of the children ins really getting my goat….and his…but we are still not able to get around it …I told my husband to see a lawyer to find out what his rights and part is now …
She has raised them to the point of being just the way she is …the oldest told my husband she hates Christians! …this is no surprise since her lifestyle is very much pagan….
Sigh ..of course …what sane person would make the deal she did …from the beginning it was all about the money …and NOW my husband sees this but continues to ‘need’ to see the kids
He moved out of our bedrock as his heart is divided…and it is more in their favor than even what this does to our own children …who are adults and living here…as daughters under the protecting of father until marriage as many christian homes are following this biblical pattern more and more. They may never marry as they see what a man may be like from their fathers example of that his ‘love’ means to us all ..
Sad [My eyes are very sore right now …some kind of allergic reaction to the wood smoke here ….so if I have mistyped it is because I cannot see well ….sort of blurry …
I say “NO” to ;’forms’ of marriage that are NO marriage according to the Masters plan.!!