Everyone considered Cindy as ‘sweet’ girl. Her attractiveness and innocent appearance are deceiving. They hide a dark side that you don’t see until you try leaving her.
Stan found out too late. He judged a book by its cover. In Stan’s case, he and his wife used Cindy as their babysitter for their newborn. Initially things went fine. Over time, she showed increasing interest in Stan. Her interest went from looking at him with admiration to full blown vixen. When she caught him alone, she began seducing him. Having such an attractive young woman show him that kind of interest was more than Stan could handle.
Stan wasn’t used to this kind of woman. Cindy not only did her best to seduce him, she filled his head with dreams of moving away with her. She promised him hot sex and a new outlook on life. Stan was unable to say ‘no’ to such an attractive young woman and her plans. She was filled with “I just can’t wait to see what the future holds with you and I together” type of talk. Her excitement was infectious.
He loved his wife, yet the excitement the Cindy brought was electrifying. Cindy made him tingle from head to foot with her attention and the fantasies of a life together with such a woman. She made him feel ten feet taller when he was around her. Having an attractive woman like her who was so interested in him was more than he could handle.
Cindy’s plan worked. Stan left his wife and family for the wild promised life Cindy led him to believe was possible. Her ‘sweet girl’ appearance kept Stan from seeing the scheming controlling side of Cindy.The excitement of the ‘affair fog’ and thrill of his ego being stroked by Cindy kept him from seeing things for what they were.
He didn’t see that a ‘sweet girl’ doesn’t steal men from their marriages. He didn’t see that a wholesome relationship is not one where you leave your newborn behind.
After a little while, Stan woke up from the ‘affair fog’ he had been in. He realized that he loved his wife and child. He wanted to go back to them, so he decided it was time to leave Cindy.
Cindy would have none of that. As soon as Stan threatened to leave, she began threatening suicide. Stan felt trapped by her threats. The thought of Cindy killing herself tormented him. He loved his wife, yet would feel guilty if Cindy killed herself. The threats worked for a while. Stan still felt trapped. Cindy laid a trap and he was the victim.
He decided to make a run for it again. This time Cindy threatened sharing embarrassing photos to all his friends and family on the internet. The shame of what he did was a powerful force, yet his love for his wife was stronger. Late one night, he left, life with Cindy was more than he could handle.
Stan had peace for a while. Eventually Cindy showed up in the town he lived in again. She began spreading stories about how she had been abused and escaped the man who did it. By playing the helpless maiden card, she gained the attention of several men in the town. She thrives on attention, using it to reward and punish the men in her life.
At one point, she tried getting Stan back in her life. This time, Stan saw through the games and wisely said “no”. He resisted the temptation of affair relapse.
The story of Stan and Cindy is tragic, it’s also based on true events. Stan’s story illustrates several important points.
- If it’s easy getting into a girl’s pants, you can rest assured, you’re not the first, or will likely not be the last. This is true, no matter how much of a sweet girl they appear.
- If it’s easy getting into their pants, there is a reason for it. In Stan’s case, there were mental issues that he was not equipped to handle.
- As pointed out in the Affair Recovery Workshop, “It’s not over until its’ over”. Affairs often have long tails. The lover may chase the cheater down or hold them captive emotionally long after the affair is over.
If you’re dealing with a situation like the one with Cindy, you’ll need help seeing through the games and threats. There is hope for your marriage, when you don’t take too long. Stan was fortunate that his marriage was salvageable. The threat of affair relapse is real, and there are real solutions.
Best Regards,
Jeff
