The other night around the fire pit, my son and I discussed facebook. Instead of putting up posts on the computer, we had a real face to face conversation about facebook.
One of the unsettling things is that for some of you what happens on facebook is more real than actual conversations and relationships. When that happens, it’s a warning sign.
It’s not just a watch it go by kind of warning sign. This one is a flashing 24-hours a day warning sign.
At that point, your virtual world is taking over your real world. There really was life before facebook.
People did things, went out to eat, enjoyed family times and traveled. They shared stories about these events rather than posting them.
In our discussion, we covered the dark origins and continued exploitation done by facebook. Remember, it started as a semi-dating site for rating the attractiveness of women. It served as a type of meat market for exploitation.
One of the effects of that exploitation is damage to marriages. Take a moment and consider whether facebook has helped or hindered your marriage.
“Has facebook helped or hindered your marriage?” Has it brought you and your spouse closer or has it created more distance between the two of you?
If it has hindered your marriage, it’s not too late to make a new years resolution to do away with facebook. If it’s helped your marriage, I’d be curious as to how its helped.
Facebook began as a hook-up site. Although it’s gone through many changes, it remains a hook-up and connecting venue. Sure you can post photos and make prayer requests, but at the end of the day, the potential for hook-ups remains.
If you’ve had to monitor your spouse on facebook, it’s likely due to the hook-up threat the site brings with it. Whether it’s old flames or lonely people looking for someone, the threat remains.
Facebook and its ilk has certainly fueled many affairs, both physically and emotionally. It has allowed stalkers to hunt down the vulnerable. It has given creepers new ways of invading personal spaces.
With facebook, the world knows many things about your marriage that in previous years would be considered private and ‘none of your business’. Now your business is on display to the world.
Removing facebook from your marriage is only a start. Once you take it away, you’ll have to find new ways of connecting with each other. This means you may need help with initiating close intimate conversation.
In the video, “Let’s Talk: Hurting People and Healing Questions”, I guide you in ways of reconnecting with each other. Closeness is achievable.
Instead of photos and posts, the two of you can have a closer relationship. You can work through things without letting the world know what you did or what you think of what your spouse did to you.
This is a new year. Now is the time for making some new changes.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
