Bad news sucks the energy from you. Even when you haven’t strained or exerted yourself, on hearing bad news, you suddenly feel drained.
Although in the movie, The Princess Bride, the hero has the life sucked out of him, by ‘the machine’. In real life, bad news acts like ‘the machine’. The bad news takes away your energy and leaves you feeling drained dry.
There have been times when hearing bad news took away my motivation. The bad news left me de-motivated. Whatever enthusiasm I had prior to the news disappears.
Not only does the enthusiasm fade, there’s also the sensation of going into a black hole and not knowing when and if I’ll get out the other side. During those times, I need hope.
It’s during those times that an encouraging word from a good friend or close family members makes a world of difference. Those little cards or calls really help. In my case, the more heartfelt the encouraging words, the greater the impact.
Bad news tests you. It tests the strength of your relationship. A reader recently wrote that her husband doesn’t want to work on things. She hoped that he would give it a try. His position impacted her.
On hearing the news, her response is one of giving up on their marriage.
I understand her response. It’s hard keeping on in the midst of bad news. In fact, the hardest struggle is the day to day continuation of activities.
Giving up when you’re highly emotional is never a good idea. Your emotions are triggered by reactions to the immediate. In this case, the immediate reactions to bad news.
The best thing you can do is to take a step back,
It’s natural to have the reaction of giving up when you hear bad news. The best thing you can do in that moment is to take a step back, and give yourself some time to process the news. Once you’ve had some time to process, you can begin making sense of things.
In my mind, a good place to start in dealing with such bad news situations where a spouse doesn’t want to work on your marriage is giving it at least six months. That time frame provides better emotional stability for decision-making.
If you’ve given your situation time and you’re still discouraged, you could be dealing with Affair Trauma. In that case, you’ll want to consider the video “Overcoming Affair Trauma” which guides you in moving past that point.
The life-draining effects of the Machine were eventually overcome. Overcoming them required effort and commitment. The bad news eventually comes to an end, along with its life-sucking effects.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
