Mondays are often viewed as the start of another routine week. They signal the start of a weekly cycle. This particular Monday started off like many others, yet it didn’t stay that way.
On the afternoon of Monday, October 23 at a little after 1:30, life suddenly changed for me and many others in Pasadena, Texas. That afternoon, the Phillips petroleum plant blew up. The sudden shaking of a 3.5 Richter scale explosion, followed by the tell-tale dark cloud in the sky above the plant let everyone for miles around know that something is terribly wrong.
Inside the plant, friends of mine ran for their lives, escaping the expanding cloud of dangerous gas that began enveloping the plant. Rather than follow procedure, they ran. They knew that in a crisis, safety is more important than procedure.
Vivian told me about how she ran, stumbled in her heels, got up and ran some more. She left behind her shoes and continued running with the cloud behind her.
To this day, she doesn’t regret leaving her shoes behind. A piece of shrapnel hit the ground where she had stumbled. Had she picked up her shoes, she would’ve been another victim. She knew it wasn’t time for following protocol. It was time to run for your life!
With the danger upon her, it was not time for analyzing ‘why’ it happened, ‘why’ them or what kind of chemical was posing a threat to them. It was time to run, they knew there would be plenty of time for analyzing and understanding later.
In a matter of moments, a typical Monday turned into a life-changing Monday. In a matter of moments, your life changed as well with news of the affair.
When it happens, the first priority is safety. It’s not the time for blaming, analyzing what kind of affair it is or looking for who’s at fault. If you start down that road, you’re going to stumble and stay stuck trying to pick up your high heels as the danger surround you and worsens.
If you insist on “Accountability First”, you’ll find someone to blame, yet end up dooming your marriage. Safety always comes BEFORE accountability. Getting them confused messes you up and could be fatal to your marriage.
This is where the video ‘How Can I Trust You Again?‘ comes in. The video guides the two of you in establishing a relationship where there is emotional safety. It’s only when people feel safe, where they can begin trusting again and talking again.
I hope you can learn from Vivian’s lesson. When your marriage is in danger it’s time for safety first.
Nothing in this Work is intended to replace common sense, legal, medical or other professional advice. If your situation warrants it, please seek competent professional counsel.