With the holiday season now upon us, you’ll be dealing with family gatherings. Anytime there are family gatherings, there are secrets.
It’s often easier telling or keeping secrets than squarely facing the issues. The temptation is that dealing with secrets is easier than dealing with hard truths.
Since the temptation of secrets is now with us, it’s a good time to spill the beans on secrets.
The irony of secrets is that they are meant as a way of preventing hurt, yet end up doing the opposite. Although the secrets are intended as a way of ‘keeping the peace’, before it’s over, the secrets are what end up dividing the family. They promise to keep peace, yet deliver conflict and hurt.
When family members have problems, be they mental, emotional, or physical, you’ll be tempted to keep secrets. Those very secrets usually end up triggering conflicts.
That irony struck me. What’s intended as a tool for preventing hurt and keeping the peace is what ends up dividing people.
What makes them hurt worse is that it’s the family members closest to you that end up being hurt the most. You end up being divided from those you need to be closest to.
Affairs are surrounded in secrets. There are many reasons for this. One article I read made the observation that most, if not all secrets concern ‘secretions’.
At first glance, I thought that observation was ‘off base’. The longer I work with affairs, the more I recognize the truth in it. Most affair-related secrets involve secretions to some degree. They also end up causing more division than healing.
Secrets also damage trust. The point of hope is that trust can be repaired. The relationship damage doesn’t have to stay damaged.
In the video, “How Can I Trust You Again?”, you can learn ways of repairing damaged trust. You can know ways of joining rather than dividing your relations with those you love.
Rather than letting the damage worsen, you can start repairing the damage in a short period of time.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
