Many people do not understand forgiveness and what it involves. One of the areas of confusion concerns ‘making excuses’. In the aftermath of an affair, some resolute spouses search diligently through articles and research looking for answers. Although most are well meaning, the motivation is frequently one of looking for possible excuses. If you ask them, they are searching for reasons “to explain” what happened. Unfortunately, the reality for most is that they are looking for reasons to excuse what happened or find an explanation to blame it on. The search keeps them occupied, yet distracts them from looking at what they need to change or improve right now.
Looking at what is happening in the ‘here and now’ is difficult, although that is all they can actually change. The past has already happened. You can only change what your are doing in the present. Try forgiving rather than looking for excuses or something or someone to blame it on.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
