The emotional pain associated with affairs makes them more challenging than they need be often, the pain of what we tell ourselves about the affair is more painful than the actual offense. It seems that we embellish and grow madder as more time passes. With these increasing amounts of emotional pain, a new danger arises. That danger is one of making decisions solely based on what reduces the emotional pain rather than doing what is right. When in a pain-reduction mode, the emphasis is on quick fixes rather than what is the right thing to do. Although it may seem to be the right thing to do at the time, in many cases it was only felt that way due to you seeking a prompt reduction in pain. The big problem with doing things that quickly reduce pain is that they often become a crutch and keep us from growing and maturing in our relationship with our spouse.
So when you are faced with decisions and choices, consider whether you are looking to do what is right or do what will reduce your emotional pain?
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
