Can you believe it? In a few weeks, it’ll be 2019 and that means that the iconic affair movie, Fatal Attraction will be 32 years old! The movie definitely struck a chord with many people on a sensitive topic. The movie also brought the term ‘bunny boiler’ into public consciousness.
Fatal Attraction makes you squirm when it comes to affairs, unlike so many films that glamorize or make light of affairs. It hits you at a gut level and continues keeping you tense.
When it came out, many of my fellow counselors pointed out the mental illness part of the Alex character. This way, they could attribute the extreme behavior to mental illness, rather than admit that affairs are traumatizing and take people to their breaking points.
Due to the influence of Margaret Mead, many counselors have ‘drank the kool-aid’ she was pandering about affairs being ‘normal’. Having drank the “Mead”, instead of seeing the affair as wrong, they view the problem as mental instability on the part of the lover.
Truth be told, each of the characters contributed to the affair and the events that followed. When you can get into someone’s pants easily, there’s usually a catch.
When the movie was made, neither the producer, director or actors viewed any of the characters as having mental illness.
In working with affairs over the years, I now view Fatal Attraction as a ‘warning label’ for affairs. It puts the danger of affairs in your face. The intense feelings that are stirred up and unleashed with affairs are powerful.
One warning is that “You can’t predict what the outcomes of affairs will be.” This is counter to the lie “I can control this” or “I’ve got this!”. The truth is, you don’t.
In the Affair Recovery Survey I conducted, the percentage of you experiencing homicidal and suicidal thoughts related to the affair tells me there are strong feelings inside many of you. The intense feelings are real. Most of you don’t act on your feelings, but that doesn’t mean that the feelings don’t exist.
I also know that the Fatal Attraction situations don’t have to end ugly. The vandalized cars and bunny boiling does not have to happen.
Having grown up in a home where an affair tore my family apart, I know how real those feelings can be. I don’t wish them on anybody. That’s another reason why I work at helping couples like you recover from affairs.
I hate the pain that affairs bring. The chord struck by real life Fatal Attraction situations leaves me uncomfortable.
That’s why I want you and those who are hurting like you to recover from the affair. In most situations your marriage can be saved. Although the popular statistics say about 60%, I believe that around 80% can be saved.
I encourage you to join the Restored Lifestyle site. There you’ll find forums and videos guiding you in handling the affair so that you change your situation.
Hopefully nightmare situations like Fatal Attractions can turn into horror movies rather than become a real-life drama.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
8 Responses
If Hollywood would produce more of this instead of glorifying adultery, might help out a bit. Today’s drivel is oh he/she found themselves and their soulmate!!! Ahh so wonderful! Omitting the destruction it creates for everyone else involved. The old fairytales of the girl marrying the prince has been replaced by married woman rekindling an old romance and living happily ever after!
Anonymous,
I would love if Hollywood quit glorifying adultery. Movies are powerful tools. They can desensitize people to many issues and shape both thinking and values. Many of the films glorifying adultery are the romances and comedies. They treat it like infidelity is either “no big deal” or that it’s okay in the right circumstances.
I know they make movies like “Fireproof” where fidelity is encouraged, yet the public doesn’t pay to see those movies as much as the ones that encourage infidelity. I see problems in Hollywood and with societal values as well. Although I want to blame Hollywood, I know they only make movies that will sell and appeal to what the public wants.
Apparently many want and are willing to pay for adultery promotion.
I like your reference to the fairy tale. Viewing affairs as the ‘new’ fairy tale is insightful. This is also the mindset that encourages love addicts. For them, the thrill of the romance trumps any morality.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts,
Jeff
Anonymous,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. Portraying the results of adultery is often left out, leaving only the glamorized arousal and excitement parts. It is part of the programming they do.
Speaking of Fireproof. My wife had me watch that with her while she was out seeking her fairy tail!
Anonymous,
Talk about cold and misplaced! There is something wrong with that image of her seeking the fairy tale while wanting you to do otherwise. A case of do as I say and not as I do kind of thing.
Anonymous,
Her having you watch fireproof while she was out is astounding! It makes me wonder if she was doing a revenge thing.
Tale
My writing skills and spelling can be poor!
Not a problem. With smart phones, many people accidentally press the wrong buttons.