In the aftermath of an affair, many couples find themselves stuck in a cycle of conflict. Part of the conflict involves the questions they ask themselves and each other. One of those destructive questions is “Is it my fault?” By posing such questions, people are looking for someone to blame. They are looking for a donkey to pin things on. Blaming and affixing blame does little to solve the problems or improve the marriage. Blaming only serves to reduce or increase guilt. Just in posing the question, they are fault-finding, rather than problem-solving. What the marriage needs in the aftermath of an affair is more problem-solving.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
