A recent email touched my heart. It was from a father who was devastated at discovering his teenage daughter was not ‘his’.
Just reading it, I could feel the sudden sinking sadness that engulfed him with that discovery. That kind of discovery is a double-whammy. At that moment, your relationship with your wife and your daughter are both shattered.
It’s like you lose them both at lightning speed. The hard truth is that many parents have children that aren’t theirs without them knowing it.
While it’s difficult to quantify the exact proportion, studies estimate that the rate of paternal discrepancy, where a man is unknowingly identified as the biological father of a child when he is not, ranges from 1% to 2% in the general population. However, these rates can significantly increase in certain situations or communities. The emotional and psychological impact on the families involved is profound, leading to a myriad of complications such as relationship breakdowns, identity crises for the children involved, and long-term emotional trauma.
This father had not been aware of the affair. His wife managed to hide it from him for all those years. Although time had passed since the affair, it didn’t lessen the hurt.
He was also stunned at realizing he’d been living a lie for years. He felt devastated and foolish at the same time.
Those old affairs still hurt no matter how many years have passed. In his case, it was life-shattering.
Coming to grips with a love child is hard enough. The sudden realization that the child you thought was yours is soul-numbing,
That kind of hurt isn’t going to pass with a series of late-night talks. That kind of hurt needs some serious help to heal from’
In the video “Overcoming the Affair Crisis”, I deal with how to start getting out of bed and face the world on a day-by-day basis. With a shock like he had, you’re doing good to take one day at a time.
At that point, talking about long-term planning or timelines for affair healing is way beyond where he’s at. He needs to know what’s necessary to get through the day instead of what to expect six months down the road.
If you’ve discovered a shocking affair, you can benefit from the lessons contained in the video. Click and download your copy today.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
