Jennifer refused the advances of a married man who approached her. He was persistent in his advances, but she remained firm and said “NO”. After the incident, she occasionally saw the man. She tried to be decent with him, but he always managed to twist matters. he often stared at her, which made her feel uncomfortable. As Jennifer put it, “He creeped me out!”
Jennifer then began to avoid him. He began stalking her by getting to know her friends, making malicious posts on social network sites and generally making her look like a slut. He often drove by her work place and home, he seemed to be everywhere.
Jennifer wanted him to go away, but did not want to draw any more attention to the situation. She felt trapped by him and his behavior.
Jennifer needed to say no. Do not return his text messages, do not return his e-mails, do not give him rides, do not go someplace and talk, … do not provide any openings for such people.
Situations like Jennifer’s happen quite often. Dealing with such situations requires strength and determination. It also requires firm boundaries. Although it was good of our parents to teach us to play nice, there are times, that one has to be firm, like this situation. Some women just give into the threats hoping that it will shut the man up and make him leave them alone. It does not happen like that. Giving into them often emboldens them to be even more daring.
Dealing with stalkers is never easy, especially when they involve affair situations. In those situations, setting firm boundaries is essential.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
