When an affair is suspected or found out, many couples ask the wrong questions. Rather than asking “What can I do to save my marriage?” , “What will save my marriage?” or “What is my marriage worth?” they instead quibble about “What does a counselor cost?”, “What does a private eye cost?” or “How much does a divorce attorney cost?”. By asking the wrong questions, they find misleading and distracting answers and little is done for the marriage. Couples often spend more on their cars than on improving their marriage. The relationship with the person who you pledged your life to share together receives less attention than the brand names of the clothes in the closet or the quality of automobile in the garage. Such poor choices go back to the poor questions that are being asked.
If your marriage is in trouble-you need to do something NOW. If you suspect that your spouse is having an affair, you need to do something NOW! If your spouse is distant from you, something needs to be done NOW! When the air conditioner or heater breaks, service is often called immediately, since your physical comfort or health is at risk. When your emotional/relational health is at risk, or breaks, and your physical health is endanger (from stress), rather than taking action, people delay. They dicker over price, convenience, or deny that any problems exists, when they need to be taking action. They show less alarm over a broken relationship than they do over a broken car or air conditioner.
Part of the reason for the wrong questions, besides denial goes back to misplaced priorities. When the priorities are misplaced, the relationship choices will also be distorted and warped by those priorities.
Part of getting the relationship back, will be having the right priorities in your life. “To love honor and cherish until death do us part” are not meaningless words unless you make them that way.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
