Finding out that you wife or husband has cheated truly sucks. It drains the enthusiasm and joy straight out of you. That jolt of a lighting bolt that hit you with news of the affair takes all the energy right out of you. The foundation you stood on has been removed when you discover that all of it was based on lies.
Once all the life has been sucked out of you, then you find you have to make some choices. In the very time that you have to make choices. Just when you have no energy, ability to think or patience, you have to make choices! It is not fair by any means. even though it is not fair, you still have to make choices about what to do next.
During this time, just about any choice is a chore. Getting through the day is a struggle. You may wonder about “How long will this go on?” or “How can I even imagine living like this? ”
During this time it is hard to imagine that anything will improve.
Fortunately, these feelings do not last forever. The pain is not a bottomless pit, even though it feels like it. When you are at this point you can choose to panic, go into blithering helpless ninny mode or recognize that this is an opportunity to redo your life.
Yes, I know it is counter-intuitive, but now is the one of the best times to make changes. You have the opportunity to renegotiate every relationship in your life. You do not have to just take it the way it has been given to you-Now, when everything is in chaos, you can make changes, lots of changes since you are already sucked dry, there are not threats or worries about losing anything, since so much has been lost already.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
One Response
Jeff, good post . I appreciate that you are sensitive to the internal turmoil the spouse feels and also link this with the emowering idea of renegotiating the relationship.