When talking about affairs, another kindred topic that comes up are bad relationships. At times the bad relationship is your marriage. In some cases the bad relationship is the affair itself.
The irony is that if you are in a bad relationship, even though you know it’s bad, you find yourself doing things to keep it the way it is. The bad or unhealthy relationships are preferred to facing loneliness.
There’s more comfort in staying in a bad relationship than in making changes.
Just the thought of making changes in relationships may strike terror in you. At least with a bad relationship, you know what you have.That bad relationship is familiar.
That known relationship is not as scary as the risk of losing it and facing the unknown of the dating world.
To put it simply fear keeps you from making changes and fear keeps you from leaving the relationship, no matter how bad it is. Your fear keeps you in a long-term state of no-win.
The bad relationship may be the affair. The cheater knows it’s’ bad, yet the thought of not having it terrifies them. The lover knows that the relationship will continue no matter what kind of emotional drama show is put on.
If you’re stuck in one of these bad relationships, you can change if you want to. If you really don’t want to take the risk of making changes, you won’t. Change and all it brings with it is more scary than putting up with a bad relationship.
If you wanted to, the affair could be over and the intimacy in your marriage restored. Making that kind of change takes commitment and knowledge. I can help you with the knowledge part, yet the commitment part is up to you.
One way to start is by ordering the “30 Days to a Better Marriage Program”. It takes you through a series of steps designed for making your marriage a priority and improving the communication between the two of you.
Rather than focus on changing things that won’t change, learn what you can change.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
