It is interesting to observe that the editors of Shape magazine issued an apology to angry readers who expressed their reactions to the magazine featuring the home wrecker LeAnn Rimes on the cover. Such actions tell me that the stigma of cheating remains strong in American culture. Although Hollywood movies, the media, songs, and French Psychologist Maryse Valliant make it sound common place and ‘acceptable’, the reality is that cheating is not accepted as a ‘mainstream’ value. It is not a ‘hate crime’ for you to prefer your spouse to others. It is not a ‘hate crime’ to say no to someone’s sexual advances. Even the latest movie that makes light of cheating, entitled “Last Night” premiered amid controversy in Rome. Such controversy is a clear social marker that cheating is not OK, healthy, normal or acceptable.
The LeAnn Rimes story also makes it clear that having money does not put you above moral accountability. One of the dangers of wealth is that it becomes easy to use wealth or notoriety as a way to avoid accountability. There is a temptation to view yourself as ‘above’ all that, to assume that you are an exception to the rule or that you can get away with it. LeAnn Rimes, Jesse James and Tiger Woods discovered that they were not exceptions. In each of their situations, their sins found them out. The adultery caught up with them. Even Rick Springfield found that his cheating strained his marriage.
Rather than have the media think for you, trust your gut reactions. You know what is acceptable and what is not. You also know that cheating by its very nature is not an option that improves your marriage.
There have always been those who condone cheating and make it sound ‘good’. Rather than fall for those distractions, take action to say ‘no, that is not true’. Rather than fall for the cheating stories of mommy porn, men’s magazine porn or movies promoting porn, “just say no”. I address the importance of what you watch and read in the aftermath of an affair in my e-book on “Survive Your Partner’s Affair”.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
