How important is your marriage? When you tell others of how bad you are hurting, are you willing to do what it takes to make things better? It is easier to complain that it is to take action. Perhaps you are taking the easy way out of having to deal with your spouse’s affair. Complain, blame and hate rather than reaching out, understanding and changing.
It will cost you to do nothing. It will cost you to take action. It will cost you to find out what you need to do. Sure, you can stumble along doing the things that do not cost you, but you will find that you often receive what you give. When you give little, you often receive little. You may be telling yourself and your friends that you are doing all that is possible, but that is not true. You may have done all that you feel comfortable in doing, or all that is in your comfort zone. You may have to reach out beyond your comfort zone. Consider the webinar ‘Sure fire ways to survive your partners affair’.
Rather than talk, take action. The webinar will take you beyond your comfort zone and direct you in how and where to make changes that will make a difference. The holidays provide many opportunities to restore your marriage. Take advantage of this time and act, rather than moan and complain.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
2 Responses
You are right. I do what you have written. I understand that I need to move on past my comfort level but I am so scared of being hurt again. I know…what do I have to worry about now? I’ve experienced the pain already… It’s so hard to let go though.
Infidelity Rage,
It is often scary to move beyond your comfort level. You can either choose to be safe while surrounded by your pain and anger or take risks which will allow people to get close to you yet expose you to possible hurt. One of the dangers of getting ‘real’ is being vulnerable. When we move beyond our safety zone there is more risks, but also more reward. The simple way I often put it is you can be safe (and alone) or take risks. The risk contains both the possibility of getting close to others/others getting close to you and the risk of getting hurt. Anytime we get close to someone, we are vulnerable to getting hurt. That reward is often worth the risk. It could be that it is not time to take risks yet, and that is understandable. You will need to be strong in order to take those risks.
In terms of worry…Worry is trying to control things you have no control over. You already do not have control over them and worry only gives you the impression that you do. You can always find something to worry about, yet that will only give you an excuse to not take risks. You are right. You have already experienced the pain, re-fighting the battle and replaying the past struggle will do little to move you past it.