When it comes time to get your spouse back, it is often a major challenge. There are often many obstacles in your pathway to your spouse. One that often has to be considered is that the lover is intentionally trapping your spouse. Although it is hard to conceive, there are some lovers who intentionally scheme and lay traps for cheaters. I realize that not all lovers do this. When you are faced with a lover, who has trapped your spouse, you have a double challenge. You have to win their heart back and also free them from the traps that have been set. By the time you have woken up to what has happened, the trap is already sprung.
Although it seems unthinkable, it happens. There are people who will use pregnancy, lies, drugs, and threats to ‘trap’ your spouse. I have even seen where witchcraft and charms are used in ‘trapping’ the cheater. These items are often used to ‘hook’ them into the relationship. While hooked, the lover has a ‘captive’ audience. While your spouse is captive, they work over their mind and heart to redirect it to them.
If it seems like the lover has your spouse in some kind of mind control, …they probably do. It is not your imagination. There is no limit to how far some lovers will go. Keep in mind, in the history of mankind, there have been many wars fought over lovers. Although you are not a nation, the same human elements that took nations to war over lovers, is now at work on a small scale in your marriage. Although it sounds extreme, some lovers will go so far as to use deadly force in their toolbox. The statistics vary from 1 in 5 murders (20%) being related to affairs to 10% of murders related to affairs. Such numbers often vary from community to community. The bottom line is that when an affair is involved, the risk to life is greater for everyone involved. There was a recent case in India where a young man seduced married women, then murdered them. You may want to dismiss that as being in India and not in your town. That would be a dangerous mistake. It happens more often than you would want to consider, hence, the unthinkable.
You need to take the affair seriously and take action now. The longer you wait, the more damage is inflicted.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
4 Responses
My case is not so melodramatic as some others, but the OW did threaten to kill herself, and that prolonged the EA considerably. My husband says he felt stuck.
The threats of hurting either themselves or others often happen. The payoff is that it keeps the cheater hooked into a form of emotional blackmail. Although you said your case is not so melodramatic, you have someone who is threatening to take their own life. With threats like that, they are not in a healthy state of mind. I don’t know how much more serious things can get than that. When I tell couples that affairs are a life and death matter….they are!
You’re absolutely right. I guess I was talking about murders-suicides and things like that that make the news. I don’t think she was actually suicidal, judging from her emails. I think she was looking for a way to hang on. At that point when she threatened suicide, her husband had found out and she wanted to leave him and start a new life iwth my husband. My husband back-pedaled and told her it wasn’t the “right time.”
That was over two years ago. Her husband thinks that they broke up then. I have thought about calling him to let him know the truth, that it didn’t stop for another two years, not until I found out. But I don’t want to take the chance of it becoming violent, so I have decided to go through this alone. I hope that is the right decision.
Often people do not realize the full seriousness of those unthinkable situations until after they are over. Suicidal threats are always difficult. It is hard to know if it it a bluff or the real thing. It is not a gamble to take lightly.