Admittedly, I have seen few articles on the connection between infidelity and PMS. Although there are few articles written, it does not mean that there is no relationship or that the two have no connection. Often, the two have to be considered together.
When you and the cheater have a talk, if it is during PMS, there will be more emotional noise that has to be addressed. Many issues will be distorted along with intense emotional reactions. If you get defensive about these or take them personally, you will find yourself fighting the wrong battle. In fighting the wrong battle, you will be attempting to put out emotional fires that are not the root cause of the infidelity and associated issues.
Trying to talk about such an emotionally charged issue as an affair during an already highly sensitive time such as PMS is a dangerous combination. The emotional radar screen is already set to its highest sensitivity and you are trying to address a high voltage emotional issue. You can rest assured that sparks will fly with such a combination. This same kind of dangerous scenario also exists when you push affair related issues with someone who is clinically depressed, bipolar, suicidal or has some other type of serious emotional disorder.
There are times that you have no other choice than to deal with the affair at any other time. If you are caught in that situation, you will need to remember that some of the sparks may be more about the emotional distortions going on that about the affair, and that in the midst of such an emotional storm, the cheater may not be hearing and understanding everything that is said. That means you will have to revisit the issues again once the storm subsides and perhaps several times after that. It is not a matter that the person is dumb, ignorant or any of those things. When an emotional storm is in progress, not all the issues are registering. They are not available to react to all the issues being addressed.
I addressed this issue and other topics related to dealing with the emotions related to an affair in the latest webinar available at AffairRecoveryGroup.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
