Some of you are struggling with the whole issue of forgiveness. You may have even made a statement similar to the one above, “I’ll never forgive them for what they did to me!” You may have expressed it in the more colorful “There is no way in hell, I’ld ever forgive them!” Either way, the choice is being made to NOT forgive. What you may not realize is that with such statements, you are setting up your mental and emotional programming. You are giving orders to your mind and heart regarding the whole forgiveness issue. At the time you said the statement, you may have been very hurt, or very angry about what happened.
I am amazed at how many people who make the statements about unforgiveness later come up and ask “Why can’t I get past this?” or “I just can’t seem to let this go.” They do not realize that they made that choice long before. The reason they can’t move past what happened is that they gave mental and emotional instructions to themselves not to. When their mind and heart follow those instructions, they then feel stuck and unable to move ahead. Your words have more power than what you realize. They mold and shape what you see, feel and are capable of doing. The restraints that you feel limiting you may be the very ones that you put there with your comments or actions. What the cheater did was wrong. You choosing not to forgive is also very damaging to the relationship.
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Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
