As I was putting together a presentation on intimacy, the question came up, “Is talking about your marriage a good thing?” As a counselor I often encourage couples to talk about their marriage, yet I also realize that ‘talking’ is often viewed as a threat by many husbands. The words “We need to talk!” often strikes fear in their hearts. Many husbands view the continued talking about the relationship as a sign that the relationship still has problems rather than viewing it as a sign that the two of you are making progress. Although wives often view the talking as a good thing, some husbands may view it as a sign that the problems are still there. They often need to see changes rather than talk changes. They want to see improvements in your behavioral conversation rather than your verbal conversation.
Talking about your marriage is a good thing, you just need to remember that talking involves actions AND words. If your husband is one of those intimidated by talking, you may need to show him understanding and show him that the relationship is making progress.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
