When you discover that your spouse is cheating there are many questions in your mind. Besides being overwhelmed and having your world turned upside down you have to do something. As you are trying to make sense of what is happening around you and to you, and your head is swimming, you wonder who or what is your enemy?
You know that you do not like what is going on, but have you considered who is your biggest enemy. Sure, you may know who is to blame, but the person blamed is rarely your biggest enemy.
So who is the biggest enemy? the cheater? the lover? yourself? the unresponsive spouse? the place where the cheating happened? booze? drugs? porn? Which is the biggest enemy?
You biggest enemy is most likely NOT one of those listed above. Your biggest enemy when dealing with cheating is fear. Does that surprise you? Fear makes everything worse. Fear makes you see things that may not actually exist. Fear drives irrational thoughts and actions. It is fear that puts you in panic mode. It is fear that keeps you from sleeping at night. It is fear that has you imagining more affairs, infidelity and lewdness than was reported.
Fear brings with it torment. Torment, when allowed to run its course turns into emotional entrapment. Let me repeat that:
Fear–> Torment –> Emotional Entrapment
When you are in the state of emotional entrapment, fear becomes more real than reality itself. You feel as if you are in a cage. There are the panicky feelings that go with being caged. Even though physically you are not in one, the emotional cage is very real. The cage traps your mind and your heart. With the feeling of being caged come sensations of helplessness and powerlessness. At that point, you are stuck. There is a feeling of “no way out!” .
Yes, that cage is real. Those who have been there know how real it is.
There are ways out of the cage, but I will address those in another post. What I wanted to do in this post is to let you know that the lover is not your biggest enemy, neither is your cheating spouse. The enemy is not your spouse’s family, it is not you. Your biggest enemy is FEAR. This is important in know who and what to attack. Attacking the people will not do anything about the fear. Fear is what gives those people power. Cut off the power of fear, and you remove many of the dangers.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
By the way, my free webinar is coming up tomorrow night (Wednesday, August 25th at 7:00 PM CDT.) The clock is ticking. You need to reserve your space now by registering at this link. [Registration Link]
