When your spouse cheats, it is a slap in your face. They may say that you mean the world to them, they love you, blah, blah, blah. ..But what they did was a rejection of you. It was a devaluing of your preciousness. Your value tanked. You spouse can say all kinds of wonderful things about you, but what they did sent a message loud and clear on how much you are valued to them. Their actions treated you like a piece of cheap jewelry, that looks nice but is not considered valuable.
Your spouse who knows more about you than anyone else just said with their actions that they do not want you…that you are worthless! They have seen you warts and all. After seeing you and being with you, they reject you. That kind of rejection hurts down into your soul.
You may feel that they only love you for what they can get out of you and little else. Your value has sunk lower than a stock market crash.
When you are that low, that worthless, picking yourself back up and building yourself back up is not easy. It will take time. Rather than set yourself a schedule of how good you need to feel by such and such date, you will need to take life one day at a time, one hour at a time.
A sign at my dentist office says, ‘Breathe!, Breathe! Breathe! That is what you need to do- Breathe! Take as many breaths as you need. Allow your head to clear, then realize that your spouse is a liar. Since they lied about the cheating, and all the stuff that goes with it, they lied about your value. They do not have the final say on what your value is….You do. They are not the one who determines your sense of worth….You do. You are worth caring about. They may not recognize your worth, or validate you. One of the dangers of building your life around someone is that when they reject you, it is a cratering event. The bottom falls out and leaves you either falling or hanging.
Take steps to keep that from happening again. Stop believing that your value and worth is decided by their cheating. They made the bad choice, not you.
Today, do three things for yourself. Give yourself some of that value and worth that you thought was all gone. It starts by doing something for you.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
This may start you on your way..
