The fall is a tough time for my mother. Although she doesn’t understand football, her husband loves it. He’s a full out ‘boomer sooner’ fan. His cell phone even plays the OU fight song.
Although the two of them watch a game together, they have different experiences.
He gets excited about big plays while she’s lost as to what’s going on. Although they don’t have separate televisions, the two of them see totally different things when a game is on.
My wife and I even bought a book to help her understand the game and help her know what’s going on.
Her husband knows what to look for in the game and what things mean. Although my mom sees the same events. she’s lost when it comes to football.
Cheaters know what to look for when it comes to relationships. They see signals and preening gestures that others miss. They also know key words and phrases that others miss.
They go into a restaurant and pick up on signals that you or others are oblivious to. They know the looks, the signs and indications given out that alert them to potential lovers.
This awareness doesn’t automatically turn off when they quit cheating. Turning down their awareness of such things takes effort.
Prior to the affair, they trained themselves as to what to look for. Now they face the challenge of unlearning that training. They looked for preening gestures and now they face learning ways of ignoring them.
This unlearning is why the video “Help for the Cheater: Starting the Road to Recovery” is important. It would be nice if ending affairs were as simple as turning off the switch.
Recovery requires turning down the cheater’s awareness. Turning down the signals takes practice and help from you.
They can unlearn what they’ve trained themselves to do. The straying eyes can be trained to only see you once again. The video helps them and you through this change.
Best Regards,
Jeff
