If you’ve ever wondered if there’s a reason for repeating unhealthy patterns in your life, an explanation exists. These patterns range from picking one loser after another to feeling like you are rewinding and reliving terrible moments in your life.
Bad things happen to each of us. We all have our share of difficulties come into our lives, big and small. From being betrayed by a loved one to getting fired from a job you enjoyed, life can be plagued with agony and despair.
When it rains for too long, your emotional foundation becomes weak and susceptible to the tiniest amount of pressure.
Although these bad things happen, not everyone repeats them time and again. Although there are some who emphasize repetition as a key to learning, when you’re stuck in a loop, it feels more like you’re banging your head up against a wall.
The idea that you’re doomed to repeat the same painful patterns in your life isn’t true. Repetition happens when you don’t identify the pattern and look at its underlying meaning. While it’s human nature to seek comfort, of repeating self-defeating patterns or loops in our lives.
These loops leave you feeling trapped and out of control. The most painful part is that they keep happening, again and again.
What you don’t realize is that repetition happens because of your expectations to perform a certain way. Patterns become ingrained in our lives because of how we respond from the inside out. It’s not about what happened, but how you’re responding to what happened.
You may even see them coming, yet feel like you can’t stop the oncoming train.
It’s like you were sentenced by a judge to re-runs of the worst things that happened to you. In the gaming world, you may welcome the repeats since they give you a chance to learn and move on. In real life that kind of repetition churns up more frustration than anything else.
That repetition is not due to you being stupid, or being punished. It may feel that way, but those things are not the driving force behind them.
I mention this in connection with affairs because this phenomena often shows up in affair related situations. Consider how many times you have felt like “I’ve seen this movie before” as you deal with the situation.
You’ve seen this move before, your mind recognizes the pattern. Although it seems kind of deja vu like, it’s actually something called ‘trauma bonds‘. By taking a deeper look into how and why they happen, you can pry yourself free from their hold. The repetition is not happening to punish you, but due to the way your brain processes events. It’s something called PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Given that affairs can trigger trauma like reactions, it means that trauma bonds are likely at work. Those bonds keep you trapped in your frustrations.
Trauma bonds are created when painful events happen in your life. You process them through repetition. When you re-live these things and don’t identify the pattern, you’re trapped by trauma bonds.
The nature of trauma bonds is that you’ve been knocked off balance at some point in time. One of the dangers is that those suffering from trauma bonds often turn to addictions as a way of coping.
In the Special Report entitled “Trauma Bonds and Addictions” I explain how they work along with what you can do to move past them.
This means you don’t have to keep repeating situations, fights, addictions and problems related to affairs over and over again. There are ways out of those bonds.
I invite you to join so that you can receive your copy.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
