There are times when the accusation of cheating does as much damage to you as actual cheating. Your marriage may have to go through recovery, even though it was only an accusation. Accusations of cheating can impact your standing at work, in the military and in some churches. (If the accusations do not impact your standing, it leaves me wondering what kind of job you do or what they are teaching at yoru church). What makes the accusations particularly damaging is that when you have not cheated you have to bear the burden as if you had. Unless you have a sterling reputation, any protestation of the accusation often leaves you looking even guiltier. It is also difficult to deal with situations where you had questionable contact with someone who you are being accused of having an affair with. In these situations, although the temptation is there, the desire for the affair may have been there, yet no affair happened. In such cases, the accusers often sense the potential for an affair.
If you are married to someone accused on an affair, when you hear of them having an affair, it is a hard thing to deal with. You may feel torn between what the accusations say and what your spouse says. In such cases, you may have to trust your gut, the character of your spouse along with whether there were drugs and alcohol in play. When drugs and or alcohol are involved, all bets are off, anything can happen. It is also possible that there are people who want to split up you and your spouse. Accusations can destroy your marriage almost as effectively as do affairs. When a family member accused me of having affairs, it often left my wife in a state of fearful anxiousness. She began seeing threats when no threats existed. Fearfulness is contagious. When a mean spirited person has fears, it can spread to your spouse. When those fears include accusations of adultery, it is a toxic combination.
With any accusation, you have to consider the source, and the attitude in which it was conveyed to you. The how often provides you with indicators of whether you are dealing with a false accusation or an actual affair.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
