Forgiveness is an issue that many people want but few understand. Forgiveness involves letting go of the emotional pain. It also means letting go of the desire and any right for revenge. Although the right for revenge is let go, that does not excuse any prosecution for laws violated. Only a judge can exempt from prosecution, since most of you are not judges, you do not have the authority to exempt your partner from prosecution. You do have the authority to release them from the emotional bondage and emotional indebtedness that may exist.
Forgiveness is not a one-time ‘get out of jail free’ card. It is a process. Although many of us would like to release all the pain at one time, as humans we often only let go of a little at a time. It is as if we have to forgive a little each day until the whole pain is gone through the process of being diminished.
Forgiveness does not mean what occurred was right. It does not mean that you approve of what happened. It only means that you are letting go of the emotional pain. I often have to take people through the forgiveness process through a series of steps.
Sometimes you may only forgive one or two incidents at a time. That is understandable considering the experiences you have been through.
In terms of the theology of forgiveness, in the Bible we are commanded to forgive. We are commanded to forgive repeatedly. There are no exclusions on the forgiveness requirement. Forgiveness is required, divorce is not. There are no requirements for obtaining a divorce based on affairs. This may help some of you sort out what is required and what is NOT required.
Best Regards,
Jeff Murrah
