It’s only after you’ve had an experience with opossums that you fully appreciate the term ‘playing possum’. I thought about this when one of my sons shared his opossum story.
In his story, he was awoken from his sleep by the barking of his dog encountering a young possum. By the time he descended the stairs and was finally out the back door, the possum was bloodied and stiff.
He thought to himself “he’s a goner”. So with a quick trip to his tool shed, he emerged with a shovel he used in picking up the carcass and tossing it over the fence to the field behind his home.
What he didn’t know was that his wife saw the little guy briefly look up to see what’s going on around him while my son was getting his shovel. This encounter was definitely a convincing possum story.
In this case, the possum won. Yes, he was bloodied, but he ended up escaping the dog and continuing his nocturnal lifestyle.
One place where playing possum is not a good option is when it comes to affairs. Although the idea of “what you don’t know won’t hurt you” often shows up in relationship issues, it’s not a good option.
It’s not a good option for the cheater or the betrayed. Not telling your spouse or acting like you don’t see the obvious is not doing anyone a favor.
Acting like you don’t know about the affair when you do doesn’t help anyone. Turning a blind eye to the infidelity doesn’t reduce tensions, prevent fights or save your marriage.
The affair possum option only works in the movies. Even in the movies, its’ used as an option in order to increase the excitement and tension.
If anything, playing possum does the opposite to your marriage. It allows the bad behavior to entrench itself. Playing possum also allows irresponsible behavior to continue and worsen.
The fights eventually come. Avoiding them only puts off the inevitable. When the blow-ups do happen, there’s more tension and pressure that comes with them.
If you are unsure of how to address the affair, that’s a whole other matter. There’s help in finding ways of bringing it up and the accountability that goes with it.
One place you can find help is by joining the support community at Restored Lifestyle. There you can learn from others who have been where you are.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
