Have you ever considered the difference between ‘separation’ and ‘running away?’ If you don’t know the difference than this is an option you’ll want to re-think.
First, there is a difference between the two. With separation, one party leaves, yet there are definite goals involved. These goals work best when they are written down and shared with you and your spouse.
When both of you know the goals, it takes stress off of the situation. With goals, each of you has a clear idea of what’s expected. Goals also keep the lines of communication open.
During affair recovery, keeping the lines of communication open is critical for the life of your marriage. Avoiding each other doesn’t reduce problems, it makes them worse.
Running away happens when you leave without goals or a plan. Keep in mind that if you can’t express your goal or plan, you really don’t have one.
Running away is a form of avoidance. You may tell yourself that it’s temporary or just for a little while. If you don’t have goals, then it’s not temporary.
Running away also creates more tension in your marriage relationship. It leaves both of you hanging in a state of unsure anxiety. You don’t know where you stand or what the status of your marriage is or even in your still have a marriage.
Your goals don’t have to be complicated, yet they do need to be clear. Your goal is what you’re hoping to will be accomplished or what needs to be done before you return.
This is also important when you kick your spouse out of your home. Let them know what is required before they return.
Just booting them out doesn’t resolve anything. Let them know what’s required for readmission.
When you are going through affair recovery and you need a support group, consider joining the support community at Restored Lifestyle. There you’ll find others who know what you’re going through along with information you can use during affair recovery.
Best Regards,
Jeff
