Poachers are those lovers looking to steal your spouse. They know that many good men and women are already married.
Rather than deal with dating games, they go looking for the married. They literally want what you have, and go to extremes in getting their claws in your spouse.
Identifying Poachers <<– listen to the audio here
Hi, this is Jeff Murrah with Affair Recovery Radio and I want to welcome you to the radio show today. The topic we’re going to be dealing with in today’s show is identifying poachers.
Poachers are lovers that are looking to steal your spouse. There are some people out there, some lovers, that just want to get into your spouse’s pants.
There are some people that are out there, they’re not content just to get in the pants, they want to steal them. That’s what we’re going to be dealing with today, identifying who these people are.
These poachers know that many good men and women are already married. In their mindset, rather than deal with all the dating games, they just look for someone who’s married, that has the qualities that they want. They go shopping, they find them, and they literally want what you have. These people go to extremes to get their claws into your spouse.
When they see something that they want it’s almost like there is no depth that they will not sink to in order to get their claws into your spouse. And we’re going to be talking about that today.
The answer is going to be know the signs that you’re dealing with, because if they’ve been married before, they’re overly friendly, or overly personal, you’re looking at some problems. We’re going to be talking about each of those.
1. Poachers have often been married before. Since they have been married before this gives them experience in selecting the targets. This gives them experience in knowing how to seduce, how to get into your spouse’s pants. They know how.
They’ve been married before, they know what turns people on, they know what things you are likely not going to do but they are willing to do, and they take advantage of that.
They know something about routines. And they’ll know how to get into your spouse’s life.
2. This is where I mention overly friendly, because poachers soften up their targets before making their move. Softening up the target, that’s more of a military way of looking at things, but when it applies to poachers the softening up involves getting emotionally close.
As part of getting emotionally close, they start trying to be more spouse-like. These are people, they’re not trying just to be the lover, since they’re wanting to be the spouse they are going to try to be like you as they are in the process of stealing your spouse.
They’re going to try to be more of a father, or even a mother, to your kids. They’re going to try to jump into that role.
So it’s not just a matter of the threat in the bedroom. This is also the threat in the kitchen, the threat in the living room. They’re going to try to be friendly, they’re going to try to be welcoming, they’re going to try to be the good cooks, they’re going to try to come along and be Mr. Fix-It, or miss can bake or make or cook anything. These types of strategies.
When the lover starts stepping over the line and becoming more and more spouse-like, that ought to set off alarms in your head and let you know something’s going on.
3. Overly personal. They will often test boundaries before violating them. Poachers not only soften up their targets, they test the waters, they test things before going through there. Testing defenses, testing the alarm systems, testing what strategies you’re going to do, how far to take things.
So you may find them testing boundaries in various ways. Some of the ways? They will ask you about personal matters, or your sex life, or joke about those things.
By going ahead and joking about them they are probing. They are continuing to see are you going to stop them, are you going to let them sneak in. Because it’s not just a matter of finding out what your boundaries are, they’re also learning how to, what you would call, read your mail and see how far they can push you.
They’re seeing whether or not you’re going to fight for your spouse, or that they can push and push and see how tough a job it’s going to be to steal your spouse from you. This testing of limits is part of their reconnaissance. Part of checking out the target before they move. Because they want to get a lay of the land before they move in.
It’s not only that they want your perspective on your spouse and your perspective on your sex life, they’re also trying to find out how far you’ll go in protecting it, at what point you draw your lines, and what’s going on.
If you’re got people out there, friends or acquaintances that have been married before, and they are just overly friendly, I mean so sweet, so syrupy, they just want to get close, spend time with you, you may think oh they’re just being friendly, they’re just being warm and cuddly.
As part of the process they start getting overly personal with things, asking about areas that are really nobody’s business except you and your spouse, it should send off warning lights that this is a potential poacher.
Because the poachers are out there and these are some of the ways that they get in there, they get their targets, and they take action. So I encourage you, I’ve got another radio show where I talk about dealing with the poachers, but I realized I needed to also address how to identify who these people are.
They have a distinctive profile, as opposed to other types of home-wreckers and cheaters out there. This will help you identify one of the risks to your marriage.
If you’ve been a victim of poachers, your marriage needs help. The downloadable “Affair Recovery Workshop” provides direction in dealing with these challenges.
Strengthen your marriage in dealing with the challenges out there.
Best Regards,
Jeff
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