In previous posts I addressed the role of medications in affair recovery. Today, I’m addressing another important part of affair recovery.
If you’ve ever wondered why you aren’t further along with recovery as you expected, you’ll enjoy today’s post. This is a concern that some of you experience.
If real life isn’t lining up with the affair recovery timeline some infidelity specialist told you about, there’s a reason for that.
What determines how far you go and how long it takes in affair recovery is how effectively you’ve dealt with resistances. This includes your resistance to recovery, the cheater’s resistance and your resistance to making changes in your marriage.
It could be that you’re bogged down with resistance and don’t even realize it. If you find that you and your spouse still have the same fight over and over, there’s resistance going on.
If you’re still mired down with self-pity and questions about what’s the matter with you, there’s a good chance you are experiencing resistance.
When your head is filled with the same questions or your thinking remains cloudy, you’re encountering forms of resistance.
Resistance is the force that keeps you held back. It keeps you from speaking out, from taking risks and from taking action that would improve your life.
It functions like an emergency brake keeping you from forward momentum. Although it’s intended for your safety, there are times it works against you.
Resistance can be so strong that you’re encased in a form of isolation or robot-mode to the point you are out of touch with life. When that happens, you’re stuck in Affair Trauma.
Whether or not you’ve addressed and resolved resistance issues is what determines how far along you are in affair recovery. I want you to make progress which means you’ll need to do something about the resistances in your life and relationships.
One way of addressing the resistances is achieved by changing how the two of you talk with each other. Knowing what to talk about and how to bring up such sensitive topics as resistance is critical.
This is where my video on “Let’s Talk: Hurting People and Healing Questions” guides you in moving you past the resistances in your life.
You don’t have to keep having the same discussions that go nowhere and leave the both of you frustrated and aggravated. That frustration is optional. You can do something to change that.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
