One of the things I hate are ‘lawyer tricks‘. Being a therapist, I am sensitive to being manipulated and helping others change. One reason I hate lawyer tricks is that they are powerful tools that manipulate you.
One lesson I learned from a lawyer is that they intentionally use ‘legalese’ and threats in their letters to get a rise out of people. Their letters are purposely inflammatory. They are written with the intention of getting reactions.
The lawyers know that you are easier to manipulate when you are reactionary. They count on you reacting so that they can play you.
He told me that the letters are sent with the purpose of triggering reactions. They are counting on people reacting, knowing that it gives them an excuse to counter their reaction. It’s a total set up.
He told me that you need to read their letters. Then set it down for a few hours, perhaps have a drink, then re-read it later, thinking through what they are ‘really saying’.
Once you get past the inflammatory talk, you can start deciphering what is really happening. The important lesson is not going with your initial reaction. Slow down and think through what’s actually being said.
Lawyers smell blood and look for new ways of chalking up billable hours. Getting reactions from you means more billing for them. They benefit from having more conflicts going on. Anytime there’s marital discord, lawyers see potential.
This is also important in dealing with affairs. Some actions, letters and emails are intentionally inflammatory. This means when you read or see something, rather than flying into a rage on first exposure, put it down, take a breath and consider what’s really going on.
The ‘take a breath part is really important. Your mind needs oxygen to work. The added oxygen also helps you in thinking through the issues and being less reactive.
You can have free access to the videos and ebooks covering these issues in greater depth by joining the support community at “Restored Lifestyle” Going through affair recover includes handling these kinds of situations where lawyer tricks and lawyer type tricks lead to reacting before thinking.
Best Regards,
Jeff
