One of the trends I’ve noticed lately is the regularity of stories in the news about ‘financial infidelity’. These stories bother me on a couple of levels.
My first concern is how these stories are pushed with a routine regularity. When news stories follow regular patterns like that, it tells me that someone is pushing a particular agenda.
When there are regular patterns behind stories, it tells me that someone is peddling an agenda.
My second concern is how the financial infidelity stories are claiming that the financial infidelity is a bigger problem than marital infidelity. Although I agree that financial lying is problematic, placing it as a higher priority than your marriage is troubling.
When money is more important to you than fidelity in your marriage, an affair is not your biggest problem. Money issues are symptomatic of other concerns.
If you consume and believe such articles, you’ll put your focus on financial honesty while putting your marriage relationship on hold. Fixing your finances becomes job one. My concern is putting your marriage in the secondary importance category.
Anytime you put your marriage in a position of secondary importance, you weaken it. This is the same problem I have with putting job, career, mission, bank account, inheritance or social standing ahead of your marriage.
I mentioned the movie Casablanca the other day. In that movie, one of the characters put his ‘mission’ (as noble as it was) ahead of his marriage. Putting his marriage in that secondary position made it vulnerable to an affair.
This is one of the risks associated with educators, politicians, military, medical professionals, ministers and law enforcement. If you or your spouse are in one of these fields, this is a hidden danger that can threaten your marriage.
There is always the potential that your marriage can slip into that secondary position. When it happens, it will be excused as being for a ‘noble cause’.
If your marriage is at risk for slipping into the back seat of being in secondary position, you’ll want to consider joining the “Restored Lifestyle” support community. Inside you’ll find helps, resources and reminders helping make your marriage a priority if it has slipped a little of late.
Best Regards,
Jeff
