It’s the time of year when the press carries stories about the Nobel Prize. Those winning the prize find themselves surrounded by attention seekers. You transform into a celebrity along with being viewed as the ‘world’s best’ in some area. The sudden change has led researchers, like Patrick Carnes into talking about “Nobel Prize Phenomena” (the new term for this is “Imposter Syndrome~ed.).
I’ve never won a Nobel Prize, yet received a couple of awards for ca couple of history books I’ve written. Although it didn’t have the same international fanfare, it was a dream come true in many ways. For an amateur Texas historian, it’s a big deal.
Those winning the prize are instant celebrities. Just being nominated exposes you to the phenomena of not being able to get work done due to the people surrounding you all the time.
You’ve got people wanting to be your best friends, or take a selfie with you. You become the center of attention
I used my own experience in writing about “Nobel Prize Phenomena.” I was never nominated for anything, but it’s something I know all too well due to family and personal experiences.
My story is about the Nobel Prize. It’s an award given to people who accomplish something of exceptional, positive value in society. I’ve had a few experiences with it – not winning it, but receiving a couple awards for my a couple of books that I’ve written.
The fame brought speaking engagements and book signings. There were even newspaper articles and flyers with my picture on them.
Although it didn’t have the same international fanfare, I was thrilled when this happened because being nominated meant instant celebrity status and all of the surrounding phenomena that go along with such acclaim–being able to get nothing done due to people always wanting your time; having friends (and soon-to-be enemies) vying for attention like you’re some sort of pop star or politician.”
As much as we might wish otherwise, fame doesn’t come without strings attached.
The other part of this situation is that the prize winners find themselves asking “Why do they want to be with me?” This is also common with celebrities and notables in many fields.
During recovery from an affair, you or your spouse will face a similar experience. There comes a day when you seriously wonder ‘Why do they want to be with me?‘
You may find yourself asking it soon after the discovery of the affair, while the cheater asks themselves this as the two of you start rebuilding your marriage.
You may be past the affair, and on receiving some accolade, find yourself experiencing a version of the what is known as the “Nobel Prize Phenomena”.
The Nobel Prize Phenomena brings with it big risks. At those moments, you’re vulnerable to an affair. When you no longer value yourself as ‘worthy’ of your spouse, you’re at risk.
Expert Insights
*Imposter syndrome is a feeling of being an impostor, or that you don’t deserve the job. It’s often found among high achievers who have been fortunate enough to be successful at work and in life but fear they’ll eventually get ‘caught’. one Affair recovery expert warns: “There comes a day when you seriously wonder ‘Why do they want to be with me?‘ You may find yourself asking it soon after the discovery of the affair, while your spouse asks themselves this as the two of you start rebuilding your marriage.” Overcoming imposter syndrome can help prevent relapse into infidelity.
You may be past the affair, and on receiving some accolade, find yourself experiencing a version of the what is known as the “Nobel Prize Phenomena”.
The Nobel Prize Phenomena brings with it some big risks. At those moments, you’re vulnerable to an affair. When you no longer value yourself as ‘worthy’ of your spouse, you’re at risk.
At those times, your marriage shifts in an unhealthy way. You begin the slippery slide toward dysfunction. While questioning your worth, you discount your spouse’s love.
Addicts have long known that ‘accomplishments’ and awards are dangerous. On receiving them, you step into a danger zone. If you believe you deserve it, your ego over inflates. If you view yourself as unworthy, your ego distorts how you look at the world in a negative way.
Navigating between these extremes of your ego is not for the faint of heart. Either extreme has its own dangers. There are rocks that’ll shipwreck you on either side. Winning your spouse back is, or even their heart, is a prize winning phenomena, even when you don’t recognize it as such. They have value and worth, even when they don’t act like it or acknowledge it.
And you know what? One of the best ways of dealing with the Nobel Prize Phenomena is developing closeness with your spouse. You have to make it a priority.
In imposter syndrome, people are led to believe that they belong in the impostor group because of their belief-systems and thoughts about how others view them. One example is when you feel like you don’t deserve something; your ego over inflates with anger or rage towards other individuals who do not agree with your opinion.
And you know what? One of the best ways of dealing with the Nobel Prize Phenomena is developing closeness with your spouse. The “30 Days to a Better Marriage” is a way of connecting with your spouse, and seeing their value.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
