Not every couple views infidelity as something ‘bad’. There are some that view it as “acceptable” behavior. For them, affairs are ‘no big deal’.
With this being the case, there may be some people that make advances on your husband or wife thinking that they are doing nothing wrong. They may view their advances as just another compliment.
Trying to tell them that what they are doing is not acceptable will not compute. You may view an affair as wrong, but it doesn’t mean that others share your values.
Some couples don’t view marriage as a sacred institution. To them it’s more of a partnership of convenience. When they have that view of marriage, they often give permission to their spouses and themselves to have affairs.
The affair is tolerated as long as the spouse returns like a yo-yo.
I mention this in the light that some communities which have more tolerance for affairs than others do. Some of the people you work with may be more tolerant of infidelity than you are.
Even though they may be more tolerant, values aren’t something that you can mix and match. Values are not interchangeable between couples or communities.
There are also trade-offs for that tolerance. Some of those who are tolerant of infidelity don’t have the emotional security or health security of the couples who are less tolerant of affairs.
What appears to be the fun and excitement of ‘swinging’ has a price tag of guilt, insecurity, jealousies and risk of infections that aren’t concerns with couples who are monogamous. Places like Ashley Madison don’t show you the full price tag of ‘an affair’.
If you’re struggling with the effects from swinging you may be experiencing relationship trauma. You don’t have to get drunk, take pills or medications to numb yourself out, and keep symptoms under control.
When you have been traumatized, there are reasons for you not being able to get over it’ and bounce back. Discover the tools, exercises and techniques you need in understanding and moving past what has happened to you. If that’s your situation, get your copy of the video on “Overcoming Relationship Trauma for Swingers“.
Best Regards,
Jeff
