Cheaters have many friends in modern society. It seems that every new perversion is repackaged and relabeled in order to make them ‘acceptable’ to society. Rather than calling a cheater a ‘sex fiend’ or a pervert, the new term is “polyamory” is used. With the ‘polyamory’ label, cheaters can now love whoever or whatever they desire and it is considered ‘acceptable’ in some circles. The cheater may even print out articles from the internet and show them to you in an awkward attempt to justify what they have done. The polyamory community now have magazines along with numerous blogs which provide support to a growing community. Rather than have to be accountable or consider what is right or wrong, morals have been redefined to where right is equated with accepting of their behavior and wrong is associated with your intolerance or ‘hating’ of their actions.
In the new redefined morality, you may find yourself being considered ‘wrong’ for not condoning and supporting the cheaters lascivious behaviors. The mere fact that you expect them to remain loyal to you, honor their marriage vows and hold them morally accountable for their behavior makes you an intolerant ‘hater’. This redefinition has done nothing more than turned morality upside down. You can not run successful marriage with the ‘redefined’ morality. I use the term twisted when it comes to describing this kind of thinking. Twisted thinking often leads to twisted actions. The twisted logic some use today amounts to nothing more than cheaters giving themselves permission to cheat. This amounts to a situation akin to the prisoners running the prison.
In previous generations, those who sought love outside of marriage were seen as ‘corrupt’, when they crossed social mores they were considered ‘perverts’. Marriage has survived many changes through the centuries of human history. There is a reason that it has been a mainstay of culture and civilization. Doing everything you can to make your marriage stronger, including holding onto what ‘hipsters’ consider old fashioned thinking and morals is a good thing. Wanting your spouse to stay loyal to you is normal and healthy. Expecting them to set aside selfish desires in order to honor the promises and commitments they made on the day of your wedding is reasonable to ask. The promise to “love, honor and cherish until death do you part” means just that. They promised, so wanting them to abide by those promises is the honorable thing to do. Some old-fashioned holding people to what they promise and wanting them to fulfill the promises they made to their spouses is what is needed in many marriages. Changes in society, or their sex drive do not automatically invalidate the promises they made to you.
Best Regards,
Jeffrey Murrah
4 Responses
Hooooorayyyy! …with that said I think your article here should be front page New Years Day on every paper in the nation…..But if I read my Bible correctly ….things are going just as they were predicted for any society that has declined to the point of carnal immorality as people worship themselves as idols.
Thank you for being one voice of reason in the milieu of smoke and mirrors
Hope your New Year is completely void of the pain that we endure from those who are unwilling to rein in their lust and greed.
WHOOOWWHOO! 2012!
Zaza,
Thank you for your encouragement. I am sure that there are many like you who have just not worked up the courage to write what they think and feel. I would like to see the truth about such practices have front page attention as well. We need to defend marriage and the family, which are under assault from all sides these days.
I respect alot of your views and I agree that cheaters use the word as an excuse and diagnosis of themselves.
However, polygroups do exist, in the same way as ‘normal’ relationships do, some do not work out. however, as in a normal relationship, when all parties are equal members of the relationship, contributing equally to emotional, physical and lifestyle (by that I mean economic support and everyday crap, cleaning etc) aspects of the relationship then they work just fine. In the same way as in a mono relationship if one side of the partnership is not holding their own that relationship also breaks down.
most often it is the case that the cheater claims to be in a poly amorous relationship with two women but neither know about the other or if they do, turn a blind eye. this is a weak relationship where two women are being strung along by a cheater, not a poly amorous one.
A polygroup is a group of three or more individuals where everyone is equally sexually and romantically involved with the others. a true polygamous relationship is one where if one side of the triangle is removed the other two could sustain a mono relationship afterwards, including the women.
it is a shame that people use it as an excuse as you say but polygamy exists and works in its true form. as long as all parties are committed to it in the same way as a monogamous one.
Georgia,
Thank you for sharing your comments. There are some polygroups where the dynamics are worked out. I agree that there is a BIG difference between such relationships and when cheaters use the polyamory label to justify cheating. When people take without giving, it brings disastrous consequences. I find that cheaters often hide behind many labels to avoid many responsibilities and consequences of their choices.