Today, my wife and I looked through some of our old photos. Our search was for a good photo of my wife’s aunt in her younger days.
Photos reveal many things that subjects attempted hiding. You can see tensions and conflict in them whether or not they were admitted or discussed. The faces, non-verbal gestures and spacing tell stories that families avoid talking about.
Another thing we saw were grudges. Those holding grudges were easily identified by their sour faces and physical distance from others. It’s as if people can smell when you have a grudge.
There’s no hiding those holding grudges. It’s as if they ate a whole jar of sour pickles. On viewing the old pictures, I could almost see when they started holding their grudge.
Their bodies tensed up, the corners of their mouth turned down and their whole demeanor changed.
Call it irony or divine timing, a reader wrote “I’m still holding a grudge against my spouse for their affair.” With that as their opening line, it left me wondering if they are wanting help for their grudge or whether they are wanting an award for holding a grudge that long and intensely.
Grudges create distance. Those old photos are vivid evidence of the distance they create.
Others are put off by the sour looks and rotten attitude that comes with grudges. The grudge may give you a feeling of control, but they accomplish little if anything in terms of recovery or reconciliation.
Grudges keep you locked into a painful emotional past. They take you captive and haunt your dreams and thought life.
It’s in your best interest and the interest of your relationships to let go of those grudges. Holding onto that grudge robs you of energy, peace and life itself.
I’ve yet to see someone who was in good health while holding onto their pet grudges. (Yes, I said grudges, since they seldom live alone, but instead have ways of picking up other grudges to burden your life with.)
The hopeful news is that you don’t have to keep nursing that grudge. You can let go of it, if you want to.
In my video on forgiveness entitled “Forgiveness: Stop the Pain, Tear down the walls and Remove the Roadblocks” guides you step-by-step through a proven way of handling those grudges. You can download it by clicking the link and ordering it.
Within minutes you can take your life in a different direction.
In all honesty, has the grudge helped your life? Has it brought you enjoyment? Is your life better for holding those grudges?
If not, you can do something about it, if you want to.
Keeping It Real,
Jeff
